Guide
How to start a memoir and finish it
Short answer
To start a memoir, decide what the book is about, not just what happened: one theme, one period or one change in your life. List the scenes that show it, open with one of them, and write on a schedule. Writer's Digest puts memoirs at 80,000 to 89,999 words, about the length of a novel.
How do you start writing a memoir?
Start with the question your book answers, not with your birth. A memoir is about one thread of your life: a loss, a career, an illness, a move, a relationship, a change in who you are. Write that thread down in one sentence. Then open the book with a scene, a moment where something happens, rather than background. You can explain how you got there later.
How do you choose what your memoir is about?
- What changed? Most memoirs follow a person who is different at the end than at the start.
- What do you know that others want to know? Experience, a place, a time, a job, a struggle.
- What can you leave out? A memoir is not every year of your life. Cut what does not serve the thread.
If you want to cover your whole life in order, you are writing an autobiography. That works too, especially for family readers; give each period its own chapter.
How do you collect and order your stories?
List every memory that belongs to the thread, one line each, without judging them. Gather photos, letters, diaries, emails and dates, and talk to people who were there. Then put the strongest moments in an order that builds: by time, by theme, or a present-day story with flashbacks. Each chapter should turn on one scene or one change.
How long should a memoir be?
Writer's Digest puts memoirs at 80,000 to 89,999 words, the same as a novel, with 70,000 to 99,999 still acceptable. Check how your draft compares with the novel length checker and count it with the book word count checker. A family history for relatives can be any length.
How long does it take to write a memoir?
It depends on how much you write and how often. For an 80,000-word first draft:
| Words per writing day | 5 days a week | 7 days a week |
|---|---|---|
| 250 | 64 weeks | 46 weeks |
| 500 | 32 weeks | 23 weeks |
| 1,000 | 16 weeks | 12 weeks |
Revision usually takes as long again. Set your own goal and deadline in the words per day calculator.
How do you write honestly about real people?
Tell your truth, not your guesses about other people's motives. Change names and identifying details of private people when you can, keep notes of your sources, and think about how each person will read the passages about them. Some writers show those passages before publishing. If a passage could harm someone's reputation, take legal advice first.
How do you finish and revise a memoir?
Finish the whole draft before you rewrite the opening. Then read it through as a reader would: cut scenes that repeat, add the ones the story needs, and check that the end answers the question you started with. A developmental editor helps with structure; a copyeditor with the sentences. If you would rather tell your stories than type them, our ghostwriting service writes memoirs from interviews, and our guide on how to hire a ghost writer explains the process.
Rather have a pro handle this? Our studio can: ghostwriting.
Questions authors ask
What is the difference between a memoir and an autobiography?
An autobiography tells your whole life, usually in order, from childhood to now. A memoir picks one theme, period or thread of your life and goes deep, often moving back and forth in time. Most first-time life writers find a memoir easier to shape and to finish.
How do I write my autobiography?
Make a timeline of your life from start to now, mark the turning points, and give each major period a chapter. Write the scenes you remember most clearly first, then fill the gaps. Old photos, letters, diaries and conversations with family bring back details you have forgotten.
How long should a memoir be?
Writer's Digest calls 80,000 to 89,999 words the safe range for a memoir, the same as a novel, and treats 70,000 to 99,999 as acceptable. A family history written for relatives can be much shorter.
Can I write about real people in my memoir?
You can write about your own life, and other people are part of it. Many memoirists change names and identifying details of private people, stick to what they know is true, and show sensitive passages to the people involved. If you are worried about a passage, ask a lawyer before you publish.
Do I have to remember everything exactly?
No. Readers accept that dialogue and small details are reconstructed from memory. What matters is that you do not invent events or present guesses as facts. A short note at the start saying names have been changed and conversations recreated is common.
Can someone write my memoir for me?
Yes. Many memoirs are ghostwritten from recorded interviews: you tell the stories, and the writer shapes them into chapters in your voice, with you approving each one. Our guide on how to hire a ghost writer covers costs and what to ask.
Sources
Every number in this guide comes from our spec data, last verified against the official help pages below. Retailers change their terms, so check the source before you rely on a figure.